Wednesday 17 December 2014

WHY I HATE CHRISTMAS (or something to that effect...) | Blogmas Day 13

Growing up, I loved Christmas. It was such a magical time of year, when my family would get together to celebrate and enjoy each other's company. Gifts were passed around, too much food was eaten, and there was always the one member of my family who got way too drunk and ended the night throwing up. There was also, of course, the subtle magic in the air that followed me everywhere I went. No matter who I was with or what I was doing, during the festive season all I thought about was Christmas this & Christmas that. Now, not so much. So, I bring to you my top five reasons why I hate Christmas (hate is a strong word). 

#1. Gifts: I get that gift giving does have roots in various religions during certain times of the year, like around Christmas. I get that sometimes you just want to show how much you love or appreciate someone by giving them a homemade gift, or something that they have really wanted for ages. What I don't get is the whole gift giving thing, and how it's turned into absolute mayhem. Since when was it normal to have kids (and adults!) moaning about what they want, writing absurdly long lists that have no base in reality (you want an iPhone 6, an iPad, a pony, and diamond necklace? Sure!)? Gift giving shouldn't be like this, but it is. It pisses me off, and I'm quite sick of it. It's unrealistic and selfish to just assume that you could give your parents a list of 20 expensive presents and have them readily delivered to your door by Christmas. The fuck?

#2. Christmas Carols: I don't mind some Christmas music. I know that a lot of people love the whole musical shebang and go all out, buying copious amounts of new CDs and all that, but it's certainly not for me. There are a few Christmas songs that I really enjoy, but I fucking loath carols. Fa-la-la-la-la-la-no. They get stuck in my head, and always only one line so I'm singing that one line of that one annoying Christmas carol for weeks on end. It's abominable. 

#3. Money, money, money: I'm a big fan of the whole 'don't postpone joy' thing. If something makes you happy, do it, and stop worrying. However, when that something relates to spending hundreds (and probably thousands) of dollars on presents and decorations and food for one day, I seriously question if it's all worth the joy of just one day. I know that my parents are struggling at the moment with money, and as much as I think about what it'd be like to have a lot of money, I know that idea is silly. Good for you if you don't have to worry about spending a fuck-tonne of money during this festive season, and I wish you all the best. But my god, why do we spend so much money?! It's ridiculous! Does no one realise that you're spending all that cash on just one day that's supposed to give us an opportunity to just be together in festive cheer or whatever? We spend too much money on Christmas. Too goddamn much.

#4. I feel lonely on Christmas: This one isn't me ranting at the world, it's solely my fault. I feel very lonely during the festive season, despite having a family who loves me. The whole Christmas thing just drives home the fact that I do not enjoy the touchy-feely-friendly-loving thing. I don't like hugs, I don't like sharing my feelings with people (go figure, that's exactly what my blog is for 90% of the time), and I hate being in a room full of people who keep asking me what the hell I'm doing with my life. I've grown out of most of the friendships I had, and I'm just not a very family-orientated person. Don't get me wrong, I love them, but I'm not in the mood to play happy families. Apparently, that's what Christmas is supposed to be about, so it's like being punched in the gut. 

#5. Guilty Eating: This is such a bullshit, copout reason because I love eating. Although I prefer non-Christmas foods, I do thoroughly enjoying stuffing my face with turkey and trifle until I go into a food coma that I won't wake up from for several days. After that I immediately feel guilty about how much fucking food I ate, because my body absolutely hates me for it. In turn, I hate my body because it looks like a blubbery mess and I have to work off that Christmas gut. Having confessed that, I should also confess that I never work out and I'm almost always a blubbery mess. I don't know why I always expect to start a health kick after Christmas, but I do know that I'm always utterly disappointed. Poor me, please feel sorry for me.

Okay, this post started out like a way for me to vent my frustrations about the festive season, but now it's just me fucking around and feeling sorry for myself. Then again, that is pretty much what Christmas is; just fucking around and feeling sorry for myself. Heh (I'm kidding...mostly).

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