Monday 6 May 2013

Friends.... or a Clique?

Hey everyone, it's Jesse.
Before I get into today's post, I have just got to point out how much school sucks. I don't necessarily mind hanging out with my friends, or my English class - but maths is....
Maths is just terrible... Not just because I suck at it, mostly because I suck at it.
MOVING ON - I thought I'd start an annual monthly advice column, last month's topic being confidence. I've been doing a lot of research on Google and other blogs, trying to work out the few things on young girls' minds.

We all want to have that group of friends just like The Clique, shopping together, laughing together, basically being together. Freakishly joined at the hip, as my mum used to call myself and my old best friend. But sometimes, those best friends whom you love so much can become just that: a clique. 
What's the big deal, right? Who gives a damn if your little group is known as a clique? 

YOU WILL! Trust me, because a clique comes with very specific rules.
1) If you hang out with anyone else you can't hang out with us anymore - for example, if you decide to spend even one lunch with another group, you can kiss your season pass goodbye! I don't know why this is, but a lot of the time it's because your clique could feel threatened by others or they're very possessive of you. Pathetic, right?

2) You aren't the boss of you anymore, wait, does that make sense? Eh, anyway, what I mean to say is that you'll have to learn that you aren't your own person anymore. Say goodbye to having your own opinions, say goodbye to free will. The leader of your clique will want everyone to be just like them, or at least have the same ideas - yet I still haven't much idea as to why. Is it because they'd feel threatened by someone different? Probably. That's just ridiculous!

3) The final rule is, don't expect to be treated how you want to be. If you're in a clique, it's a privilege - not a right. I don't agree with this at all, but really, this is correct. When you're in a clique, just being in it is enough, so there's no telling how that "leader" will wanna treat you. 

Now here's the three things you can do to combat all this ridiculousness:
1) Don't be afraid to speak your mind! It will be hard, especially when you're feeling accepted, but if you can't talk about how you really feel - are you sure these are the people you want to spend your time with? If you had real friends, they'd let you say what you want and wouldn't judge you. There will, of course, be times when you don't agree; but you'll get over it. It's much harder to get over a disagreement  with someone that doesn't really care about your opinion anyway.

2) Be careful who you trust! Girls have a tendency to be overly trusting, not in a creepy way, just an over-the-top way. Don't go around telling everyone your every secret - learn that some people really shouldn't be trusted, learn that some cliques shouldn't be trusted. I know it's hard, because there will be some days when you feel like complete shit and just need someone to talk to - you've got to wait for those right people to come along. 

3) Know the difference between having a bunch of friends... or being in a Clique. In life, there's trillions of things girls have to deal with; from waxing to boy troubles to juggling family and your career. A lot of the time we spend more time on our makeup than finding the right friends, which is something we need to change. The last thing on our mind is worrying if we've stumbled upon a clique, let alone navigating our way out of one.

I'm not sure if this helped, but it's mostly just my opinions on cliques/friendships etc. Nevertheless, let me know in comments of your experiences with friends and give me some tips as well! I'll try to do the same. xx

P.S There will be a time (eventually) when I start editing photos for my blog, but school's keeping me busy so my blog doesn't take top priority (sheds a tear).
~Au Revoir!~

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