Girls and girls.
Boys and girls.
Boys and boys.
Girls and boys.
All the love. The heartbreak. The embarrassment.
I am certainly not qualified to give advice on this subject, and I don't know why I ever thought that'd be something I could blog about. Something I'm great at, however, is embarrassing the hell out of myself. Comedy gold, although my retellings might not be as funny as the incidents.
Be aggressive! Be be aggressive!
This is the story of my first kiss. Something I will never forget, no matter how hard I try. And I'm immortalising it online, great. No point beating around the bush, so here's what happened. Myself and some friends had completed all our work in year 7 metal-tech, and decided to hang out in the little room where we stored all our bags during the class. There were about six of us, just hanging out, relaxing after making metal bottle openers, bracelets and rings. My best friend had the simply smashing idea to play truth or dare.
I'm pretty sure you know where this is going. So we sat in a circle, me sitting next to a guy who liked me at the time, but I wasn't really interested. The game started off with silly truths and dares like shoot shag or marry, and looking through peoples' bags. I only chose truths, because I didn't like the idea of dares. But my best friend at the time was very adamant that I was lame for always picking truth, and forced me to choose dare (I was easily manipulated when I was 12).
She dared me to kiss the boy sitting next to me, and for anonymity I'll call him Post-it. Of course, I originally resisted and recoiled at the idea of kissing a boy. I wasn't ready to do it, but lord knows I didn't have a backbone, so I closed my eyes and got it over with.
The embarrassing part was that I was so against kissing Post-it, I was a bit...forceful, to say the least. The poor guy must've gotten a concussion from how much it hurt when his head bashed against a wall. Oops? I should point out that I wasn't properly facing him, I was facing another wall. With my neck turned at a really awkward position, I just launched my face at his. Post-it fell back against the wall, and I floundered around. I didn't realise I'd hurt his head quite badly until Post-it winced and rubbed his head while the other people played truth or dare started chanting "be aggressive, be be aggressive!" I wanted to die. Did I mention that the door into the classroom was open? No? Well, I should probably point out that half the class and my metal-tech teacher saw.
Diving into the deep end of embarrassment!
This story happened when I was only nine years old. It was my first real embarrassing moment, but definitely not my last. At the end of the school year (December for us Aussies), years 3 - 5 went to a pool to have fun and celebrate the end of the year. I had all my friends there, and aside from hitting my head on the bottom of the pool and getting a blood nose, I was having an awesome time. Until myself and my best friend from the previous story, Brianna, ran into a boy I fancied. He was a year above us, and I'd known him since I was four or five. Being the evil girl she was, Brianna thought it'd be funny to go up to Douche Canoe and ask him to be my boyfriend.
I protested and raised Hell to distract her, but she just wouldn't budge. I watched her sashay over to Douche Canoe with all the confidence in the world, and proceeded to hide behind my friends Deanna and Maddie who found the whole thing hilarious. Thanks guys! But anyway, Brianna got close enough to Douche Canoe that he would've heard her if she'd just spoken clearly. But seeing as it was loud and he was in the water, she thought it'd be a smashing idea to yell "will you be Jesse's boyfriend?" in front of everyone. His reply was "Jesse? No way!" to my embarrassment.
As a nine year old, I couldn't have been more embarrassed. I ran over to the 50m pool, away from the smaller one, and jumped in the deep end. I stayed under as long as I could before coming up for air and sulking around with my friends Maddie and Ksenia. They were supportive, although they were trying not to laugh. However, I made the stupid decision of being a confident little girl and walking over to the smaller pool where people were hanging out and relaxing.
Stupid! Stupid girl! My bestie Brianna animatedly waved me over, so I thought that meant everything was all good. No one had heard Douche Canoe's embarrassing rejection of me, everything was okay. No such luck :( Probably two thirds of the kids hanging out around the 25m pool heard, and were still giggling about it twenty minutes later?! Get lives, people! Let's just say I was very upset because everyone pointed and laughed at me.
Seven minutes in Hell!
Another story from year seven, this one takes place in May. The whole year had gone on a three day camp to Cooba recreational centre. There were activities like the leap of faith, the flying fox, scavenger hunts. Sounds fun, right? So not fun! The first night, everyone was hanging out on the stairs and balconies connecting the girls and boys cabins, but I was feeling very anxious so I went back to my cabin earlier than everyone else. My friend Brown Noser checked on me to see if I was okay, and when she saw that I was feeling really uncomfortable, she raced off to get a boy who was sort of my boyfriend. You know those relationships where you'd hold hands, go out for a week and it'd just be stupid? Yeah.
Anyway, he rode up to the cabin door on his white steed, removed his silver helmet and wouldn't leave. I didn't want to talk to him about my anxiety, and I felt really smothered with him crying about me not trusting him. I shit you not. Anyway, my friend Brown Noser decided to just force us into the secondary room of the cabin. It was really small, and the two older girls who were looking after the eight in our cabin were staying in there.
Brown Noser stuck us in there, and Logo (aforementioned 'boyfriend') burst into tears. I didn't know what to do, so he just talked about love and relationships and I was starting to panic. Logo then decided that would be the best time to launch himself at me and embrace me a bit too tightly.
It wasn't. It really wasn't.
At least this time there wasn't a lot of people there to witness it. Just the two 16 year olds that were supervising the cabin. Seeing Logo violating their privacy by being in their room, seeing him clinging to me. This part was't too embarrassing. What was embarrassing was that Brown Noser had told people that I was in my cabin alone with Logo, and that prompted a lot of interest from my classmates. They were pressed up against the door and window of my cabin. I was freaking out, so I was glad when the older girls kicked Logo out of the cabin before our teacher came up to see what the commotion was.
I had a hard time explaining that one to her.
I hope my stories made you smile or laugh, so please leave some feedback in the comments! Of course, I've got a lot more embarrassing stories that don't involve boys and relationships, so if you'd like more let me know. I'd definitely love to hear about your embarrassing stories too, seeing as love is basically a synonym for embarrassment. I love you all.
~Ciao!~
