Dear Santa,
You know that naughty or nice list you have? Oh, who am I kidding, of course you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, I just want to let you know that I know I'm for sure on the naughty list and I really don't mind. I bet you've got little kids begging to be put on the nice list so you'll give them presents, but I found out the truth about you a long time ago.
Nevertheless, it was a nice tradition, and I wish you were real. I loved setting biscuits and milk out on the table for you, and I loved it even more when on Christmas morning the biscuits had been eaten & the milk was all gone. It was magical, to think that you'd be traveling all over the world to deliver presents on such a tight schedule, and yet you always found time for biscuits & milk. I really like where your priorities are at, by the way.
I'm just wondering how many red suits you have? You must have quite a few, because I can't imagine you only having one and having to wash it all the time. Or do you only break out your jolly red suit for special occasions? That would make more sense, I guess. But how do you deal with the heat in the southern hemisphere? I know that delivering presents to children trumps comfort, but you must get awfully warm during our summer Christmases. Should I leave some cooler clothes out for you when you come visit this year? Maybe some ice creams for you and the reindeer, too.
How are your reindeer, by the way? I always forgot to ask about them in my letters, and I feel bad. I hope Rudolf isn't causing anymore trouble or making a statement of himself, I know he has low self esteem. If any of the others are giving him trouble, you could always threaten to not let them ride with you on Christmas Eve, I'm sure that would set them straight. Although that is very mean, and I wouldn't want to even think about your lovely reindeer getting upset. Do they get upset? I've only seen reindeer in Christmas movies, and they all seem to be able to communicate very well with people (and elves!).
I just know that the North Pole will be decorated in colourful lights and decorations by now, as you guys are very into the festive time of year. We put our decorations up on the weekend closest to the 1st of December, but you already knew that. I'm not looking forward to Christmas this year, Santa. I'm not in the Christmas spirit, and I'm worried that as I get older it will only get worse. I used to love Christmas, but now I find myself avoiding everything to do with it. If you could, would you please send me a little extra Christmas cheer this year? Please, Santa? A sparkle, a sign, anything. You are loved and believed in by so many, and I'd really like to be one of those many once more.
Love, Jesse.
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