In June, I made a promise to myself to start being healthier; you know, eating better, actually exercising and not just lying about it (I can't be the only person who does that, right?). I decided to do this because I got disgustingly ill – to say the least – in June and spent 2 days throwing up, and another 5 being too sick to eat or drinking anything. Yuck.
Anyway, I failed miserably, and now I'm having a pity party because I failed. Being healthy and losing weight is just so fucking hard, and I can't do it. I can do lots of things, but doing that whole health kick thing? Hell to the no. I do actually enjoy eating healthy food & going for runs/walks or doing yoga, but I can't be bothered. I'd rather lie down on my back in that double chin position with the laptop on my boobs.
As satisfying as that is, the whole ritual makes me feel like total shit. I want to be healthy, I just really can't be bothered. Therefore, I end up feeling like complete shit as apposed to just shit. I've said shit a lot in this blogpost, haven't I? Oh, well.
I don't know where I'm going with this blogpost, I just wanted to share how awful I was feeling with you guys because that's literally all my blog is for. So, I'm going to make a promise to myself and everyone reading this. It's online, I won't ever edit this out, and you may punish me viscously if I do that or if I fail. The changes I'm making to my life, the lifestyle changes that shall occur, the things I'm changing to make my life better, the healthy alternatives that will replace my previous unhealthy ways–
–are as follows:
• I will not touch any junk food. This excludes donuts, Belvita chocolate biscuits, and chocolate cake, because I have some self-preservational skills and will surely lose my shit if I don't have some form of baked goods available to me. This exception, however, is not an excuse to just eat donuts and cake all the time, and I will regulate my intake of deliciousness very strictly (debatable).
• I have to drink at least 3 bottles of water a day. Water intake is important as all hell in the whole getting healthy process (and just life... water is love, water is life), so I want to keep up that water intake. This is going to be totally easy, though, I drink waaay too much water.
• Try doing some form of workout every other day. Whether it's yoga, Pilates, Zumba, sit ups (I actually love them, sue me) etc. This has to get done, and I have to do said workout for at least twenty minutes. I know that doesn't sound like much, but I'm not very committed to exercise, to say the least. This whole workout thing doesn't include walking/running because I actually enjoy those things a lot.
• Stop eating so much, you fat pig. Ha, whoever said positive affirmations are the key to staying healthy & happy probably hates me. But seriously, I'm a fatty, and I eat way too much. I eat when I'm sad, when I'm bored, when I'm angry, I just eat too much. It's not even unhealthy foods, sometimes I pig out on cucumber, tomato & capsicum. Other times, it's Blue Ribbon ice cream, same thing.
So, that's been my pity party/drastic attempt at a lifestyle change/me fucking around. I hope you thoroughly enjoyed this shitty, slightly depressing, not so uplifting instalment of blogmas. My last post was really positive, so I felt like I should balance it out. Comment below, spread the word about Gypsies & Pixies and make our community bigger, share this post, you know the drill. I love you all, and I'll talk to you tomorrow (I promise I won't say shit too many times).
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