Sunday 3 November 2013

Firsts in love and romance

Hi everyone!

I've been on YouTube a lot lately (procrastinating, what can I say?), and came across a lot of videos with the title "My First Time". Basically, the YouTuber states various firsts of their lives e.g. their first boyfriend or their first phone. This blogpost isn't going to be a "Firsts" per se, but I realised just how uncomfortable it can make people (especially girls), when the topic of first boyfriends/girlfriends and first kisses comes about. 

If you had your first kiss/boyfriend very young you can feel kind of sucky. Like you wasted that one chance or like you let something go that could have been really important to future you. However, if you had your first boyfriend/kiss quite late in life, it makes you feel like you're lacking behind everyone else and feel really sad that you don't get the same chances in romance as everyone else. 

I'm here to tell you this: everything will be okay, because ultimately - who cares? Be honest, in twenty years, I doubt I'll remember who my first boyfriend was. For a while now, a thought has been coursing through my mind: if you don't want that to be your first, then it doesn't have to be your first. This means that if you had your first kiss when you were eight years old, and now you're sixteen wondering why you were such a dumb little kid, forget about it. Seriously, if you don't want to count it as your first kiss because you had another kiss with your boyfriend when you were fifteen, then make the latter your "first kiss".

This seems like such a lame topic to discuss, but when you get more into it and think of the serious side (your first time having sex or things like that) of things, then you start to understand just how important it is to make sure you are ready to take that step. Sure, you can't chose a different first when it comes to sex, but there are a lot of other times in life when you can. This is the first time I've ever discussed this (I never talked about it in person with anyone), but I had my first kiss because I was pressured into it and ever since… I've regretted it. It seems like I'm just in denial by saying things like well if I don't want that to be my first kiss, it's not, but really I just want to acknowledge the first kiss I was ready for.

Okay, so maybe I am in denial… But when I think about it, I don't think of me avoiding the facts and avoiding my past because it's all okay. All in all, if you don't think you were ready to take that step, you don't have to call it your first. At least, that's how it works in my brain.

~Au Revoir!~

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