Hello everyone!
Today's post is about boys.
Specifically, liking a boy that doesn't like you back and dealing with breakups.
There's this guy that I really like, he's funny and sweet and great. I've known him since year 5, and frankly, I can't imagine life without him. One problem: he so does not feel the same way about me, which doesn't seem exactly fair. That brings me to the first thing I'll address:
The Why Does He Like Her & Not Me stage. This part is all about self-pity and comparing yourself to another girl. It's definitely not fair on yourself, but it's something we all subconsciously do; a sort of coping method. The statements that run through our heads are often similar to, "Well, she's probably nicer, prettier, smarter & funnier than me" or "What did I do to make him turn away from me and turn to her?".
I want to say that you shouldn't think like this, because you really shouldn't. For every girl that is practically in love with someone that doesn't feel the same way, YOU ARE EVERY BIT AS AMAZING AS ANY OTHER GIRL! However, I'm kind of being a hypocrite because I've been thinking things like why doesn't he like me? Sometimes it's hard to comprehend the fact that someone you'd do anything for, someone whom you truly care about, doesn't reciprocate any of those feelings. I don't really know how to deal with this because I'm having a difficult time myself, all I can say is remember that he's an idiot. It doesn't work per se, but thinking about your crush's bad traits can help you get them off that high pedestal you've been keeping 'em on.
The It's not fair stage. Once you've got all of that self pity out of your system, you move onto thinking "It's not fair". It's not fair that I don't get the guy when all my friends are happy, it's not fair that he doesn't like me, it's not fair... it's not fair... Right now, right when you're going through all of this, there's probably no talking you out of thinking it. Hell, I'm thinking it right now. But, if I'm being honest, you're lucky. You've got internet, a roof over your head, people who care about you, food to eat, so one guy not liking you isn't the end of the world. There are many other guys out there that won't break your heart, that won't make you tear up whenever you see them, that won't make you want to hibernate in your room forever.
Now that I've got the rational part out of the way, I'll get to the part we will all probably agree on: while it's true that us sad chicks are lucky to have what we have, and while it makes us feel guilty to be sad over a boy, it's how we cope! Hello, we deal with periods and mood swings and all that unfortunate shit, so every one of us has earned the right to think that a guy not liking us isn't fair. So what? It isn't fair! I always put my friends before me, and always care for them in every way I can, I always listen to what *insert name of crush here* has to say... So why can't he just like me back? Is that too much to ask for, a happy ending? A hopelessly cliché fairytale?
The I'm totally over him! stage. Otherwise known as denial. Your friends are starting to get sick of you moping around, you are sick of it. So, to appease everyone and make the most of things, you push all thoughts of him to the side and pretend it's all okay.
Prithee, don't do this! It only makes everything worse. Sooner or later you'll burst into tears in a very unflattering setting and you'll be a hot mess. But, alas, not being in denial is not an option. It's a natural way of coping with things we can't or don't want to face. Pushing the sad and hard things away allows us to try and get on with life, no matter how frivolous the attempt.
The OMG, what? why? She gets a guy?!?!? stage. In simpler terms, just call it jealousy. When you're starting to get really bitter and aren't just comparing yourself to pretty girls, but are jealous of your friends for having boyfriends. Jealous of every couple out there because they have a chance at happiness and love and all that gross stuff but you don't. It sucks, girls, it really sucks to feel like this. I don't really have any references, but I've felt like this. After going through a break up, or maybe a boy doesn't like you back, jealousy will rear it's ugly head.
Maybe, instead of being jealous of other couples, you might be jealous of any guy talking to that guy. That guy that made you so happy. But try not to think about that, okay? Jealousy, while not exactly a pretty emotion and certainly something people don't like vocalising, is something we can't help. How do you combat jealousy? I guess you could distract yourself with the people and things you love, think about how lucky you are, do something that makes you happy. Slowly things won't be so bad.
The okay, that's it, I Just Want To Cry stage. Here it is, folks, the big kahuna. This stage has been immortalised in movies books and TV for a long time. Shakespeare has his own take on it! A lot of the time, this will happen when you least expect it or least want it to. Everything just comes crashing down, everything seems sucky, nothing can make you happy except that guy running towards you and confessing his love for you.
As much as I want my guy to do that, the chances of that happening are nonexistent. I'm in a very depressing mood right now, because I really did think he liked me. The way he acted, how we spoke. Now, although I'm not 100% sure (and yes, I'm one of the idiots that still thinks he might deep down like me), I'm probably 90% sure he does not like me. Thinking like this makes all those tears come down harder, it makes you feel shitty and awful.
*grabs a box of tissues and chocolate* So, just cry. Crying, however unflattering and pathetic you think you are, works. It gets all those bad feelings out and calms your mind a little. I don't really know how to explain it, all I know is that you've got to have some water nearby because you'll feel dehydrated.
The I'm going to rip his balls off stage. So, the tears are dried for the time being and now you want some... what was that? revenge? Yup, after a while you'll be pissed off. How dare that bastard break your heart? How dare he not love/like you? Well, now's a good time to write his name in your revenge notebook (ha, Gilmore Girls reference) and plot his end.
It might be a good idea not to go through with all your evil plans, however. It's kind of illegal to rip someone's balls off, and it wouldn't be a great idea to punch him in the face. However, your friends, being the loveable nut jobs they are, will help you out and yell at him. Maybe. It's probably not the smartest thing to do, but sometimes it does the trick. Just don't go overboard with any angryness (okay... that's not a word), because the stupid things you do I guarantee you'll regret.
The last stage: Acceptance. Maybe it's just not meant to be. Although it sounds easy, I think this is the hardest step, the hardest thing to accept when it comes to guys. All those feelings have finally washed away (or aren't threatening your sanity), and you've realised that crying and being jealous of other girls won't help. Growing up and away from that idiot guy will.
Sure, the female race kinda needs males to... you know... survive. But that doesn't mean we can fall at their feet. It's not the fifteenth century when getting married was the only thing that would solve any woman's problems. We have rights, and have a place in this world, so if one relationship doesn't go that great, it isn't the end of the world like it would've been if we were in Pride & Prejudice. Dating and relationships can be fun and all butterflies and rainbows, but sometimes it isn't. Sometimes it's all the things I wrote about in this post.
Be strong, ladies. Guys aren't everything, even if the ones you love do seem like it.
This got a lot more deep and meaningful than it was supposed to, oh well. I love you all! Thank you for following me and reading and commenting and all that jazz. If you've got any opinions, stories or queries, comment below.
~Au Revoir!~
P.S I'm sorry for any typos, I'm having trouble editing on the laptop.
