Miscellaneous Friday: When It's All Too Much

So, I haven't exactly been blogging much lately. 

Oops? 

I'm sorry if it seems like I've dropped off the face of the Earth, but I am alive so at least I've got that going for me. There's two reasons why I've not been posting much; because I've had serious writer's block, and because it's all just been a bit too much for me lately. 

Usually, I've got a good grip on things and handle everything really well; stress, anxiety, school etc. For the past six months or so it's all been building up slowly, just waiting for the perfect time for me to explode like a goddamn volcano. Thankfully, that hasn't happened yet, but we all know it's coming.  

This isn't a sob story, and I'm very grateful for my life, but sometimes you just feel bleh. Like every opportunity you dream of is closed off, the support that you want just isn't there, and you just feel too stressed to function. 

I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself. I expect quite a lot of myself in all areas of my life, and because I'm nearing the end of high school every single goddamn person has to double that stress. I hear all these adults telling me what to do and how to live my life, giving me stupid guidelines and treating me like a child, then halfway through growing up they pull a complete 180 and treat me as if I should have already grown up. My friends are all talking about these amazing opportunities or goals or extracurricular activities, but I'm sitting on my bed reading or looking at gifs on Tumblr. 

I don't really know, I'm just feeling extremely overwhelmed at the moment. I feel like everyone is so disappointed in me for every little thing I do or don't do. No matter what I do, there's always someone else who gets the credit, or attention, or is just better. I know that particular statement sounds petty, but it is what it is.

I hope this post isn't too much of a downer, and isn't petty and stupid. I'm still getting back into my blogging shoes and really want to share more of my life with you all, not just completely random ideas. I'd also just like to apologise for this not being a FANFICTION FRIDAY, I'll be posting a lot more of those in the future. I love you all.

~Au Revoir!~