Confidence - the belief in one's self.
Anyone anywhere could come up with their own unique definition for confidence, but there it is. Simple and to the point. It's kind of ironic considering how vast, scary, and (at times) totally incomprehensible the topic really is. But no matter, I'll do my damnedest to explain it - not just to you, reader, but to me too. I'm definitely still learning about how to feel confidence with myself. Sigh.
I remember people telling me how great it is to finish school, because you don't need to learn anymore. Now, people say that you'll learn a lot more than you ever did. I'm not even finished with school, and I'm already sick of these supposedly life-changing learning curves.
When I googled "confidence", or "how to be confident", most of the links I opened had steps.
Step 1. Believe in yourself (how cheesy is that?)
Step 2. Don't look down.
Well, you get my point. But nonetheless, I realised that that's not how confidence works. You can't just follow a step-by-step guide and suddenly be so full of confidence it'll be bursting out of your butt. Now that I think about it, there aren't many people that have that much confidence anyway (not the butt thing, the bursting with confidence thing). There is not one person (out of the 7 billion on Earth) that will wake up every day and say, "Hey, I'm totally fabulous and love everything about me". So one way to climb the ladder of self confidence is to understand that you aren't alone. Every single person out there will find something wrong with them, everyone has that one thing about themselves that they just with they could change. For me, it's my eyebrows and thighs - my little brother has come up with the best (in his opinion) jokes about my dark eyebrows and thunder thighs. For you, it might be that muffin top, or having small boobs. It doesn't matter how many things you hate about yourself, the fact is, you don't have to go it alone. You can't just sit in bed watching The Notebook complaining about life and eating ice cream.
Stop saying things like, "I'm all alone", "No one understands me". Because, sister-friend, we all get it. We've all had that day or week when we just feel like crap, and even start fishing for compliments. And frankly, it's getting old. So get up off the bed, look in the mirror, and find things you DO like about yourself - even tiny things. Think of things you're good at too, because having a talent or something you love boosts your confidence because you're doing something you enjoy.
Am I babbling? I might be. Anyway...
TAKE A STAND! If you don't like having red hair, dye it. If you feel like your boyfriend/girlfriend is making you feel awful, fix it. Don't just sit there and wish for things to change. You have to make those changes, sometimes on your own. However, only put these words into action if the changes are for you and you alone. If you want to dump your current partner because everyone else thinks they're lame or not good for you - please don't. Break up with them only if you think it's the right thing for YOU. Don't lose ten kilos because you think it will make you accepted in society.
Do things that will make you happy, even the little things. Because when you feel happy, you don't have to worry about how you look, there's no need to be so concerned with the fact that you're bad at driving. Silly things like watching a funny YouTube video, or buying a new dress, can give you a little boost.
Look, my point is, there are a billion ways to feel confident. But just remember these key things:
~ You'll never feel more confident with yourself if you sit your ass down and moan about life
~ You need to learn that it's okay to be a little overweight, or not so great at maths. Because, odds are, there's billions of people in the same boat.
~ If you want to make changes - make them. But only for you. Have a clear head when making these decisions, because they'll have a big affect on you in the long run.
I'll tell you a story (am I the only one that hates it when a teacher wants to spend an hour telling you their life story?) about me when I was about thirteen.
My year seven class was really close, we were all best friends and new everything about each other. But no matter how nice everyone is, there's always gonna be cliques. I was quite a bookworm, and I didn't give a damn about popular girls wearing skinny jeans and bras outside their tops until a girl I'd known since I was three decided to join that group. Should I give her a cool nickname so I don't have to say "her" every two seconds? Why yes, of course. Lemon, being my best friend at the time, decided I should get closer to her more popular friends - and I did. We hung out all the time, but I eventually felt pretty damn self conscious and anything but confident. Those girls teased me about having red streaks in my hair, so I got rid of them. I kept telling myself that I did it for me, but it was for them. Those girls would b*tch about everyone in our school for attention, so I joined in. I did it all because I had so little confidence in who I was, that I felt like I had to change. I'd been so jealous of Lemon's confidence, I'd wondered how she could just.. be herself around everyone... A second look proved that she wasn't like those b*tchy girls. I mean, yeah, she'd made changes (but every thirteen year old girl does, ha) to herself, but they'd been FOR HER.
I've since learned my lesson, and want those streaks back.
Lots of love, a little pixie:)
~ ~ ~ ~
P.S - I hope I'm not too much of a bore. I'm still figuring out what I should blog about, and getting the hang of it. So yeah.. I'm going to be all over the place. WOOHOO. Although my next blogs might include some reviews of books I've read, and also a few short stories I've written, as well as some design tips
P.P.S - It's 12:30am, so I can't be bothered editing anything. My next blog posts will be better, I promise. MWAH! XX
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